Sunday, August 31, 2008

Commiting suicide ???

As i was searching and searching to find something to release my tension, i find this quote in one of my friend's page. I goes something like this "Don't worry about yesterday's mistakes..think about 2day's success...worry is the main cause for tmorrow's failure..". After taking a minute reading that inspiring quote, it occur to me that these are definitely true.
Main Reason...
3rd June 2008
I was saddened by a news that was spread by one of my friend. A news which i cant barely forgive my self for what i've done. I was regretful but nothing could do more. I know I've had no chanced of getting it. Life is harsh. But in order to overcome that harshness, we have to brave ourself. But, i just cant. I cant brave myself. Its as if receiving that news/story was a terrifying death for my courage inside my heart. I was ashamed by that news. I feel lonely, indiscriminate, meaningless,useless. Nothing has gone right since that day. My mind keeps thinking about it. It wont stop. I couldnt sleep. My eyes were swollen. I tried to be happy but it couldnt work. People wont notice me being sad coz I cant show it. I dun like to make people worried about me. Huhu. I kept to myself. And only i know, and some of my very close related friend. But, it still doesnt change. I'm afraid to tell others my problem. Reading and understanding the above quotes kinda makes me much better but still, my feeling were untamed. Still today, i cant feel calm. Calmness was getting further away from me and worries is getting nearer. Every minutes,seconds, i worried. My apetite grew down. I had no feeling to eat. I tried to laugh in front of my friends. but all laughter was a fake. deep inside, i still suffer...........................................Hope u guys understand a story from a useless and uncalmed child......

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